Acting Log:
My struggle with being vulnerable (Part 2)

As a person, feeling for the sake of feeling is incomplete.  I am curious to find out the core triggers for these emotions and fix these core issues.

I am also a passive and calm person.  I do not easily get overworked by emotions, and I can hold myself from acting rashly out of emotions.  In fact, I will make a point of being calm as much as I can, and at the same time work on finding that deeper core issue.  After all, the best way to fix any issue is while facing it.

That being said, I am also afraid of expressing openly.  And it’s is crucial for an actor to express openly and truly.

For the past few months, I have opened up emotionally a lot more than I ever had.  I have felt anger and sadness while watching movies and reading stories.  But that openness is only in private.

In fact, this is the main reason that got me into acting.  During one of the improv classes, I had to reach a level 10 out 10 for the given emotion of sadness.  I started with a 2 according to our teacher, and he got me up to 10.  I was crying in front of the class, I was sad, I was distraught.  I was also extremely happy and felt like a million bucks.  I had never let go off like that ever in my life.  It was exhilarating to just cry.  And this is when I knew that I had to get into acting.

So, I am at the point where I have to face my demons, and the demon is the trait that helps me deal with emotions in a manner that I have been dealing with.  Time to find a different way to deal with my emotions.

A few of our lessons from acting classes at EVN Studios come into mind.

  • Acting is the reality of doing, of living truthfully in the given and imaginary circumstances with courage and abandon.
    • Abandon: A state of no-mindedness.
  • As an actor, you have to bypass all the bullshit, to take you to the spiritual side.
  • Tom Hanks: “Risks are inherent to the enterprise”.
  • Move from your center
  • It’s you, always you, as a different you.
  • Start from where you are, let the intentions go from being intellectual to being in the body.
  • Go deeper, go wild, then bring it up to a calmer place if required.
    • Know the storm.
  • Whatever I have to say, has to be created by the simulus; before the min kicks in to stop you from acting on it.

I think my answer lies in knowing more about my character.  Create a vivid story, filled with lots of details and imagery.  I have to know what is my stimulus. Go deeper in my character’s mind, body and spirit.  That is the only I can truly feel what my character feels, enough to bypass my mind.

At the same time, learn to let go.

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